Thank You


does anyone have like ten thousand dollars they don’t want


android commercial: *proves that they’re better than iphones in every way possible*

me: …and?


My anaconda will consider it

im so chill im practically dead


when you have two groups of friends doing different things friday night and you’re not invited to either one lol

Britain: Excuse Me
Netherlands: Excuseer me
Mexico: Perdon
Italy: Permesso
France: Pardon
Canada: Sorry
America: Get the fuck out of my way douchedick
Australia: Move cunt or I'll run you down with my kangaroo


"Hey can u check if that milk went bad?"

*opens fridge*

*milk has leather jacket on smoking a cigarette*

"It’s bad alright"

What doesn’t kill you gives you EXP.
(via running-in-a-storm)


being gay before the invention of lube must have been a pain in the ass